I dread Christmas. It is like knowing something horrible is going to happen to you and there is nothing you can do to change it. Every year, on the same day; it is the most masochistic thing that was ever created by the human race. Do you think that I am a jerk or anti-religious? If you do, you are wrong. Christmas sucks in every way, shape and form and I intend to prove it. Christmas was first celebrated in order to remember Jesus of Nazareth’s birth, about two thousand years ago. The actual date of his birth is unknown, but the date may have been chosen according to the ancient Roman calendar, marking the winter solstice. For my purpose, the reason that December 25th was chosen to celebrate Christmas is irrelevant. Obviously the reason that the holiday was created or what it used to mean to people thousands of years ago is of absolutely no importance to the people that celebrate it today…at least in my world. And besides, I don’t want to start sharing my thoughts on the Christian religion and its history, or you might really get mad at me. The important thing to remember is that people living in the first century (anno domino) did not shove into the entrance of their local big box store at 4:00 in the morning the day after Thanksgiving just to get the best piece of plastic for their bratty kids. Christmas sucks for the following reasons: It seems to be a tradition in this country to totally ignore the economy (Nationally, locally and personally). I can understand people not thinking about the Governments money, because who knows how much they have anyway? But when people go to the store to buy gifts knowing very well that they can’t afford them, because when they rifle through their purses and wallets and can’t find anything green in there, and then they still walk out of the store with a bag in their hand, something is wrong! When I am sitting around the dead tree with my family on Christmas morning, unwrapping the ugly sweater that my grandma thought I would look handsome in, I can’t help but think to myself, can’t you just give me the cash so I can pay my bills with it? What should we do, you ask? How about Festivus? According to Wkipedia.org, Festivus is an alternative to the materialistic Christmas that was created in 1965 by Dan O’Keefe, and made popular by his son, a writer on the show Seinfeld. The holiday includes novel practices such as the "Airing of Grievances", in which each person tells everyone else all the ways they have disappointed him or her over the past year. Also, after the Festivus meal, the "Feats of Strength" are performed, involving wrestling the head of the household to the floor, with the holiday ending only if the head of the household is actually pinned. And the best part is that there is no dead tree. Instead, people who wish to celebrate Festivus can use a metal pole. (Site needed) Do yourself a favor this holiday. Tell your family that they will thank you later and lose Christmas. Happy Festivus, Juvani Frisk
11/22/09
I feel like telling the truth today.
Alright Prospect Readers, this is your chance to get a glimpse into the mind of a young person in the Sierra Valley. I am sure that what you are about to read will frighten you and maybe even make you feel depressed for the rest of the day. On the other hand, you may feel inspired to seize the day and try to fix the world’s problems. Probably not…
I wasn’t born in the Sierra Valley, but I have been here long enough to consider myself a local (is twenty years long enough?). And I am not so old that I would be considered a typical reader of the Prospect; I am just in the middle. In any case, you are old and I am young, that’s the important thing to remember.
With old age comes wisdom, patience and some sort of involvement in local politics. Although the first two characteristics are not required to participate in the latter, I would like to think that some politicians are wise and patient. But quite frankly, I can’t really tell the difference anyway. This is another thing that comes with old age. Apparently, when you reach a certain age, you can’t help but distrust everybody, especially politicians. My point is, since I am telling the truth today, as a young person I don’t really care what you old farts do. Why should I?
You see, as much as fathers and mothers want their children to be involved in local government, they can’t seem to figure out how to get through that exceptionally thick skull. I believe that is a general truth amongst the readers (and even the editor) of the Sierra County Prospect that young people need to be involved to protect the future of the precious Sierra Valley. The tough thing is that the paper is only read by people over fifty. You may ask yourself why don’t young people care about this stuff? Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I am going to tell you.
We (people under thirty) were raised in a generation of non-thinkers. Not the parents, they did plenty of thinking. I mean the kids were not doing much thinking. We didn’t have to because the TV did that for us. And when we did use our brains it was only in an attempt to become more popular or to figure out a way to get some money for candy and soda. I don’t know why this generation was so sheltered, maybe because we didn’t have any major wars affecting our perfect little lives. The Gulf War wasn’t exactly a hot topic amongst us sixth graders. In any case, our generation is built upon pop culture and all things artificial; it is no wonder that we don’t make the connection between our lives and local government.
The internet has not helped us young folks in determining what we should care about. This point is amplified in the little old Sierra Valley because we have access to the ever growing world of instant communication and information, which the Sierra Valley seems to be almost totally exempt. Yes, we have the Prospect, but as we determined before, only old geezers read it. When we fire up our computers we look at three things: We check Yahoo.com for the latest fads, trends, and news about what movies stars are doing. We check our email to see which lake or ski hill our friends are going to that day, or to find out what sweat deals Old Navy has online. Finally, we surf some porn to find the newest sex tape of Kim Kardashian or one of her sisters. Notice something missing? Young people don’t watch the news! It is too boring. And besides, nothing those white haired drones talk about relates to our lives. I’m getting bored just typing this.
The long and the short of it is that young people have their heads in a much different place than you old folks do. We are consumed by news that is as artificial as Pamela Andersons boobs. We have our ears filled with whatever music Ryan Seacrest tells us to listen to. We are constantly checking our Facebook and MySpace and we wish that we could pipe Twitter right into our brains. We don’t have the time to care about politics. And even if we did make time, we wouldn’t understand what was going on because we can’t relate it to our own interests.
I am going to wrap this up so I can go check all three of my email accounts and make some snarky comments to my friends on Facebook. I hate to make you feel even worse, but I have to say it. Most young people who grow up in the Sierra Valley share a common goal: To get the Hell Out of Here! Why should we care about local politics?
Yours Truly,
Honestly Ignorant
What Does That Word Mean?
Every once in a while, words materialize in the popular world of which the meaning is unclear. These words are not taught in schools (at least by teachers), they don’t appear in dictionaries or encyclopedias, and they have no discernable origin. Often the word was born out of some necessity, but has long since been forgotten by the users of the word. These words typically don’t last very long, and the ones that do conquer the test of time are undoubtedly the most misunderstood. That’s natural I suppose, since all things fall apart. In any case, there is one slang word, invented decades ago, that is still in heavy use (or misuse) today: Hippy.
What the hell is a hippy? What does a hippy do or not do? Are there degrees of hippyhood, or do you just wake up one day and you are full blown? Who decides who is a real hippy? The hippy police? Can you be a fake hippy? Are you a Hippy???
I am not a hippy…I don’t think. But I sure know a few! In my mind, a real hippy can be identified by meeting at least half of the following requirements:
Hippies don’t make much money, unless they grow weed.
Hippies can’t keep a job, mostly because they hate working for other people.
Hippies may smoke lots of weed and eat a lot of mushrooms, but they swear that Meth is the devil and they would never touch it.
Hippies always have a dog.
Hippies either have very strong liberal views of the world, or they don’t give a s**t about what happens outside of their little bubble.
Hippies never have just one kid; it’s either zero or a more than two.
Hippies grow their own food or they buy it from an overpriced super market who claims to have grown their own food.
Hippies love the word organic.
Hippies smell weird.
Finally, a real hippy has undoubtedly slept on a friends couch for more than a week.
Do you disagree? I bet you do. It’s the nature of the nebulous word. Nobody knows for sure what a hippy is anymore…not even someone who calls themselves a hippy.
I will ask you again- Are you a hippy? Do you know any hippies? Do you despise the ground that hippies walk on? If you can answer yes to any of these questions please send me an email. We would love to know what you think a hippy really is.
COMMENTS: (To post comments send a letter to meditor@sierracountyprospect.com. Your comments will be posted unless inappropriate. your email address will not be posted. Provide a username if you like.