Congratulations Winners 102710

We want to be first to congratulate the winners of our local elections.  You’ve worked hard and spent a lot of money; let’s have a look at what you’ve won.

First, you’ve won the right to have every know-nothing in the county give you their opinion, and blame you for not doing whatever it is they want done, usually something like fix the global economy.  You can exercise this right anytime, at the grocery store, at the post office, or even at home at the dinner table.  These people are your boss because they might vote next election, and because they pay whatever taxes and fees they can’t avoid.  

You’ve won the right to study page after page of monotonous, but still very important, information.  

You’ve won the right to lay awake at night wondering if your vote on this or that will have unintended consequences, or cause someone to fire a letter to the Booster.  

You’ve won the right to take money from your neighbors and spend it on things you don’t completely understand.  They won’t mind.

You’ve won the chance to make decisions where there is no good choice, and every choice will cost someone something.  

You’ve won the right not to do the bidding of the people, but to do the bidding of your new master, the state.

Unless you’re the sheriff or the judge, you have the right to be sued, and not just the county, but you, personally.

If you’re the sheriff or the judge, you have the right to make decisions in people’s lives that perhaps only the Creator is sufficiently informed to make.  Do your best!

You’ve won the right to work with “staff,” who are people who know more than you do, who will still be there when you’re gone, who can make you look smart or idiotic, and who work at your direction: you’re the boss!

You’ve all won the right to the all respect an angry and frightened people give their elected officials in times of stress and hardship.  

You’ve won the right to travel for hundreds of miles to meetings that mostly don’t achieve much, but if you’re not there, the county will miss valuable information and networking, so drive, public servant, drive!

Prepare yourself, now, to be put on display, to be a “public person,” at inspection by angry citizens and a cynical press, any of whom can say pretty much what ever they like about you, and any response you have will seem petty, maybe even suspicious.  

Revel in your success, experience the first rush of victory, picture yourself humbly serving the public good, and feel the swell of your imagined status.
Then linger long over the realization that your life is not your own, and your best thoughts aren’t going to be good enough, and the only people who respect you as you’d wish are those who are powerless to help you.  Finally, relish the realization that as you, the victor, contemplate your prize, the loser is sleeping soundly.  Come to the understanding, at some point, that it would have been easier and less painful to be a kidney donor, and no one would curse you for that.  

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