At The Xfer Station
072510
At The Xfer Station
Part of our “why we love Sierra County” series.
Note: It pains us to have to disclaim that this is not a true representation of the operations of Sierra County Solid waste, which is above reproach. It’s a rendition of cultural chit chat between local boys. Nothing in this piece can be constrained by truth.
Sequential interactions at the entrance to the xfer station:
--
Whatcha got?
Stolen plutonium.
Put it in the metal bin.
--
Whatcha got?
Top Secret Government Records.
Put it in the first bin.
--
Whatcha got?
Severed human heads.
First bin.
--
Whatcha got?
French Pornography.
Put it in that white truck over there.
--
Whatcha got?
Left over explosives.
First bin. Try to throw something over it to keep the sun from heatin’ it up.
--
Whatcha got?
Defrocked priest frocks.
Just throw the bag on the ground and beat it, you scare the hell outa me.
--
Whatcha got?
Fifty pounds of soiled women’s underwear.
Take it over to oil recycling.
--
Whatcha doing there?
I want to salvage that.
No salvage allowed, if I see ya, I’ll have to call the cops.
Is that woman over there naked?
What woman?
In the field there, with those cows, is she naked?
I can’t see any naked woman.
She’s there, just keep looking.
I don’t see that well.
--
Whatcha got?
Ten bottles of Viagra.
Well, throw it out along the road, I don’t want these bins stickin’ up.
--
Whatcha got?
A sour stomach and a bad attitude.
Do I look like your mama?
Maybe a little.
That explains the bad attitude.
--
Whatcha got?
Whisky and drugs.
I won’t have that poison in my bins. Put it in the little shack there.
--
Whatcha got?
A semi tire and rim in a black plastic bag.
Can’t take that here, it has to go to Loyalton.
Why?
Because we’d have to charge you.
So charge me.
Can’t, I’d have to write a receipt.
So write a receipt.
Can’t.
Why not?
Don’t like to.
Fine. It’s household trash.
First bin.
--
Whatcha got?
Trash from Plumas County.
Well you just keep going east until you can dump it past Bordertown.
--
Whatcha got?
Native American artifacts.
Brown glass.
--
Whatcha got?
Household garbage.
Oh bullshit, why should I believe you, let me see it.
At The Xfer Station
Part of our “why we love Sierra County” series.
Note: It pains us to have to disclaim that this is not a true representation of the operations of Sierra County Solid waste, which is above reproach. It’s a rendition of cultural chit chat between local boys. Nothing in this piece can be constrained by truth.
Sequential interactions at the entrance to the xfer station:
--
Whatcha got?
Stolen plutonium.
Put it in the metal bin.
--
Whatcha got?
Top Secret Government Records.
Put it in the first bin.
--
Whatcha got?
Severed human heads.
First bin.
--
Whatcha got?
French Pornography.
Put it in that white truck over there.
--
Whatcha got?
Left over explosives.
First bin. Try to throw something over it to keep the sun from heatin’ it up.
--
Whatcha got?
Defrocked priest frocks.
Just throw the bag on the ground and beat it, you scare the hell outa me.
--
Whatcha got?
Fifty pounds of soiled women’s underwear.
Take it over to oil recycling.
--
Whatcha doing there?
I want to salvage that.
No salvage allowed, if I see ya, I’ll have to call the cops.
Is that woman over there naked?
What woman?
In the field there, with those cows, is she naked?
I can’t see any naked woman.
She’s there, just keep looking.
I don’t see that well.
--
Whatcha got?
Ten bottles of Viagra.
Well, throw it out along the road, I don’t want these bins stickin’ up.
--
Whatcha got?
A sour stomach and a bad attitude.
Do I look like your mama?
Maybe a little.
That explains the bad attitude.
--
Whatcha got?
Whisky and drugs.
I won’t have that poison in my bins. Put it in the little shack there.
--
Whatcha got?
A semi tire and rim in a black plastic bag.
Can’t take that here, it has to go to Loyalton.
Why?
Because we’d have to charge you.
So charge me.
Can’t, I’d have to write a receipt.
So write a receipt.
Can’t.
Why not?
Don’t like to.
Fine. It’s household trash.
First bin.
--
Whatcha got?
Trash from Plumas County.
Well you just keep going east until you can dump it past Bordertown.
--
Whatcha got?
Native American artifacts.
Brown glass.
--
Whatcha got?
Household garbage.
Oh bullshit, why should I believe you, let me see it.
