By Gabby Fringette
Summer vacation has just begun, and spring is in full swing! To a kid, me at least, it means that when you step outside you hear the symphony of the birds, the melody of the streams, the song of the wind softly blowing through the trees. The weather is so beautiful, the sun is shining brightly, and the flowers are blooming, the fields of lupine, the tufts of pussy paws, and all of the micro flora. The air is green with pollen, which is a down side, but it still smells sweet. The grass is tender and green, and you just want to lie down in it. Unfortunately, there is a high bug population, bees, flies, spiders, and other creepy-crawlies. But other than a few bugs and plant sperm, it’s very nice out. I even have pictures.
First, we go to the lupine.
That giant bug is a bee, I’m surprised too.
Pretty isn’t it, it’s a snow flower, which is actually a saprophyte.
Here is one of the nice bugs, this is a butterfly on a clover, I only got this by dumb luck, all photography is like that.
These are miner’s lettuce, and micro flora.
And here are the pussy paws, they are called that because they look like cat feet.
This is near my house, and I got here before the goats.
Enjoy your spring! ( I did take the front-page photo this week!)
By Gabby ‘and I thought I was obsessive’ Fringette
When you were a kid did you ever ask a question and get the answer, 7 sub answers, and nine possible report topics? If you did, then you know what I go through every time I ask a question.
Dad is trying to teach me, I know I should be grateful, but he stops the movie, and by the time all the links have down loaded, I have lost interest.
It’ll go like this:
Yours Gabbily: “Dad, what is the Mile-Wide-Foot-Deep-River actually called?”
Mom: “I think it’s called the Kissime River.”
Dad: “Let’s Look it up.”
Yours Gabbily: “No, really, never mind.”
Dad: “Ah, yes, it’s called the Kissimmee River, it is 500 miles long, it now runs through a large ditch…” and then that leads to animals that lived in Florida in prehistoric times, semi-related. Then I get lectured about the Clovis Indians. Not really related. Then a half an hour later, I’m lectured about the extinction of the short nosed bear. Not related, and I didn’t even do any thing punishable!
Here is another example:
We are watching this new movie, “The Help,” and then the Jim Crow laws, or whatever they’re called, are mentioned. I have no idea what they are, so I ask, “what are the Jim Crow laws?” And Dad says those dreaded words: “Let’s look it up, the computer is on.” So we look it up, and he says, “you should know this.” An hour later I am being lectured about the construction of Monticello, and the TV still isn’t on.
And now for my revenge. I go down stairs. I place the screaming beetle from my bug collection on his shoulder. “Hey, Dad, what has two long antennae, a hard brown shell, is about two and a half inches long, and has two large mandibles?” He is typing all this in, and he says: “let’s look it up.”
So then fifteen minutes later, in the middle of a lecture about the grading and quality of commercial lumber, I say, “don’t you want to know why I asked.” He looks at his shoulder, jumps about two feet, and immediately starts another lecture.
Hence, my favorite Gary Larson cartoon:
So now you know not to ask Dad a question.
I make that mistake all the time. And most of the time I’m not even in trouble.
Brain worms, anybody?
By Gabby Fringette
There is plenty of fiction and science fiction about worms and things like that invading our brains and taking over, but enough of that, any one up for a real brain worm?
No, not some thing from outer space or created by some evil wizard, but it evolved right here on earth. It is Taenia solium, a tapeworm that lives in pig flesh, a cousin to the flat worm, both part of the Platyhelminthes genus, the grossest genus on the face of the planet.
It is most commonly know when it is an adult living in our guts, when it can grow to 21 feet, but in its larval stage, it lives in cysts, some times in the brain of an animal. People with worms in their brain some times can’t walk in a straight line, or they go into a coma, and some are driven partially blind, or can’t move one side of their body. Some have so much fluid in their brain they have to have shunts implanted to relive the pressure. Then there is the loss of the ability to speak, and the violent seizures.
Disgusting, isn’t it? But how do they get in us in the first place? Pork, undercooked pork. You know how earlier I said it mostly lives in pig flesh? Well if the pork you eat has tapeworms, and the meat is under cooked, then you can get tapeworms.
At the mouth of a tape worm is the rostrum, it is surrounded by the rostrum hooks, then it has its suckers down towards it’s neck, and then it has it’s neck.
Very gross. Can you imagine one 21 feet long? How do you get rid of them? Often if the cyst doesn’t cause the problems I listed earlier, than they immune cells swiftly destroy the cyst. But if the cyst isn’t destroyed then the infected person might die. There are many kinds of medication, in the 80’ then was a medication that killed the cysts, but caused swelling in the brain. It can be cured, but even then, it can be dangerous.
Cook your pork well, and if you have blindness or any of the other symptoms, go to your doc.
No pictures, you’re welcome! Bye!
What are these?!
By Gabby Fringette
Breasts. In America, they are very important. Breasts are a part of woman’s femininity. But, why? Everyone wants a healthy, fit mate. For women the super model with the perfect skin and big breasts is kind of modern ideal, and the body builder is the ideal for men. But there is a lot more pressure for women to be attractive than there is for men who just need to be rich.
Why is it like this? Well, in the city it’s about every one’s expectations, there is no connection with natural processes, there is only competition with airbrushed billboards and TV ads. And there are more of these unrealistic expectations for women.
There are millions of dollars’ worth of breast products, to make breasts seem more perfect, and make them more visible. Push up bras, supports, make-up, the list goes on and on. Clothes and make-up you can take off and still be yourself once in a while. What about breast surgery? They still make the silicone breast implants. Silicone is a bad idea, it causes many health problems. Even with saltwater implants your breast is cut apart and sewed back together! Why?!
Some women who are devout Muslims wear the burka, a full length gown that covers you from the top of the head to the feet. In American ads, breasts are used to sell cars.
The breast is made up by the nipple and the areola (the pinkish skin surrounding the nipple), then the milk glands, and they are surrounded by fat, then the Cooper’s tendon, (it’s what keeps the breast pert), and then the pectoral muscles.
The American ideal breast is round and perfect. But real women often aren’t built like that.
What makes the breast saggy? Well, age, it wears out the tendon and sags the skin, then breast feeding and pregnancy, the milk glands swell up with milk, and then the skin stretches, and when breast feeding, the baby practically hangs off the nipple. How do I know this? I looked it up, there was a very informative short movie on breast surgery.
A couple of years ago a young woman accidentally showed her breast for a split second, on national TV at half time during a sports game, and congress passed a stricter law as though seeing a breast can traumatize some one.
On one hand, we have obsessed ourselves with the perfect breast, but then we want them covered like they were evil. Are female breasts so different than male breasts? Why are they treated so differently?
That’s it for this week.
By Gabby Fringette
It’s hot. Even in the shade it’s eighty. Don’t you wish you had a nice iced fruit punch, or maybe a juice pop? Well, juice pops and fruit punch from the store are full of artificial flavors and nasty stuff, and the kinds that aren’t, are expensive.
I propose an alternative. Make your own.
I have several recipes for cool, mouthwatering drinks and snacks.
Yummy berry cream juice pops.
What you need:
1. Berries of all kinds, frozen or fresh.
2. Cream, canned milk or half-and-half, or milk.
3. Bowl, spoons, and mini cups.
What to do.
Keep frozen berries frozen, or, if fresh, rinse and cut off the leaves or bad spots, then put in bowl and lightly mush with spoon. Add the cream, canned milk or half and half, or milk, now mix, after you’ve mixed it for a minute, pour into little cups, put the spoons in them, and put in the freezer. After an hour or two, it should be frozen.
Fruity freezes drink
What you need:
1. Lemon juice, maraschino cherries, one banana, water, ice.
2. Oranges, knife, blender.
What to do:
Put the water, ice, lemon juice, maraschino cherries and banana in the blender, when thoroughly blended, pour into pitcher, slice oranges and float on top. Keep it in the fridge.
How about something to have on crackers?
Try cucumber crème.
What you need:
2. sour cream
5. lemon juice
What to do:
Chop the cucumber; put in blender with sour cream, a pinch of salt, a pinch of sugar, and a splash of lemon juice. Blend on fine, and then put on crackers, or bread, or what ever you want.
Mint frozen yogurt
What you need:
2. mint leaves (optional)
3. mint oil
4. mint candy
What to do:
Crush candy, mix with yogurt, mix in mint oil, and then if desired, put mint leaves on top, then freeze.
And now for one last cold yummy,
The chocolate coffee so-tasty-mom-won’t-let-me-make-it.
What you need:
1. whipped cream
3. chocolate sauce (you can make it at home, just put chocolate and butter in a bowl and melt in microwave)
4. Caramel ice cream.
What to do:
Crush ice, make coffee, and once the coffee has cooled, pour it over the ice, with layers of ice cream and chocolate sauce, on the top put the whipped cream. Devour.
And now, I must go try to convince my mom we need caramel ice cream. Enjoy the tasty treats, I hope they cool you down.
Just say ‘no way’ to robot reporters!
By Gabby Fringette
Guess what? There are robot reporters. They are not exactly robots, they are a computer on a Segway that can compose text, and take pictures. They can do mostly just simple sports reports, and even then it takes a lot of decoding. No, I’m serious. They have badly chopped up sentences, and they often substitute numbers for words.
I call them Aggravating Reporter Replacing Robots, Grrr! Or ARRRG! for short.
It will take years to improve the ARRRG! and once they can write OK articles, they will be expensive. So maybe for the 10 or 15 years after that, only big newspapers will have them.
But, how will they write the articles? How will they be able to pick out human-interest pieces?
And how will they be able to make funny remarks? And what about the cute articles I write? Will an ARRRG! be able to do that?
These are questions that will be asked once the ARRRG! can write an article that is legible. There is a difference between legibility and personality. I have both, and the robots have neither. So far.
But still, in about 20 years the bots will be all over. Oh, ARRRG! (Not the robots, I’m upset.)
There are all together a lot of problems with the ARRRG! They will deprive people of jobs, and there have been many complaints about them. If we keep making robots for different jobs, who is going to buy their stuff, and what will we do? All together, it’s a bad idea, I think (hope) that the idea won’t take off. But I’m still worried.
I think that we aren’t ready for artificial intelligence.
If we make machines like us, then in the next hundred years they will be going the speed of light, and we will be living in caves and eating grubs.
So to wrap this up, there are robots that can’t do much more than post a picture on line and write a scrambled paragraph about a horse race, but they are getting better. They might not get off the ground, but if they do it’s possible in one hundred years we will be back dusting circuit boards, and our robots will be going for a cruise or two around the universe.
The boss doesn’t like it when I steal his line, but Good Luck!
The Bugs Return: a Gabby Guide to Bugs
Have you noticed the odd, actually, abundant flies? What about all the wasp nests around? And what about those iridescent beetles that fly off when your boat-sized feet are about to come down? And speaking of boats, those bugs that live in water that have those little oars on them, they are called boatmen. All those bugs and many more are coming out of the wood work. Some of them literally.
These are red ants, they ferociously defend their nest, and they know all the tender spots on the human body.
This is a water strider, they can, literally walk on water
This is a wasp, she is doing revisions.
This is a leaf hopper, it was pulled in by the aura of my day-glow green shirt
This is a weevil, also attracted to my shirt.
Then are the most annoying, and in some countries, the most potentially dangerous (because of malaria, mosquitoes kill more people than any other animal) we have mosquitoes!
The season is just beginning, and there are already so many bugs, and this is just the start. Soon there will be biting flies, more mosquitoes, midges, bark beetles, boring beetles, grass hoppers, more flies, more ants, and also nice bugs like butterflies and dragon flies. So many dragon flies.And that's the buzz on bugs.
A Hey Wait a Minute By Gabby Fringette
In school you are taught some useful stuff (like writing) and some not useful stuff (like calculus), I mean, why would you need calculus? Here is a list of some things you might need that they don’t teach you in school.
1. How to balance a check book (if you don’t it can cost you money, and you can’t get a mortgage if you can’t keep accounts of your money)
2. How to fill out documents ( you will have to fill out a lot of documents in your life)
3. How to shoot accurately (it will come in handy, if you don’t know how, you might get mauled to death by a bear or stabbed by a drug addict)
4. How to have safe sex (if you don’t, you could end up pregnant, or with some disease like AIDS or HIV, or both, or have no fun)
5. How to manage your time
6. How to cook economical, healthy, and yummie food.
7. How to do parenting stuff, (change a diaper, quiet a crying child, stuff like that, it will come in handy some day, see number 4)
8. How to complain (it's harder than it seems, there are lots of complications)
9. How to clean, you know, do dishes, laundry, best way to scrub a toilet. (you just need these skills, if you don’t know how to do these, you will be in a bad way)
10. How to save money
11. How to get jobs, like, what do bosses look for on a resume (if you don’t have a good resume you will be less likely to get a good job)
12. How to shop responsibly (coupons, things on sale, avoid impulse buys and use a shopping list, tell what you need from what you want)
13. How to responsibly buy movies
14. How to use public networking (my space, twitter, all those things that hicks who don’t go online till they are twenty need)
15. How to avoid scams, and how to buy from private parties (like if you’re buying a car off of Craig’s list, if you don’t, you could end up losing a lot of money)
16. How not to be sensitive about your race, religion, or gender.
17. How not to be insensitive about some one else’s race, religion, or gender
18. Survival skills, for both if you are stuck in the woods, or if you are homeless in the city (you could die if you don’t know how to purify water, or in the case of being homeless, avoiding both cops and robbers)
19. How to recognize a bad influence (if you can’t, you could end up dead, or in the hospital, or in jail)
20. How to stay clean, the importance of good hygiene, how not to become Europe in the 1800s. (They had the worst hygiene in the world, literally, and they were dying of diseases because their hygiene was so bad.)
Well, as you know, we aren’t taught most of those things, but we should be, I know, the school hours will be increased, but it would create jobs, and all, but I was thinking we could ditch math after algebra.
He was arrested for WHAT?!
By Gabby Fringette
Today, in public schools you can get arrested for any thing. Burping, wearing perfume, having a plastic butter knife, stuff like that, I mean burping is a crime? And this is even more outrageous, a cop in California broke a 16 year-olds arm because she didn’t clean up some cake crumbs she accidentally spilled. I hope he got fired, and she left the school.
And why is it like this? One reason might be fear, both for students and of students, that’s why there is a zero tolerance for knives, gang cloths, and stuff like that. They are afraid of gangs and bullies, they think the solution is cops.
And, why have cops any way, are teachers and principals incapable of dealing with children? Teachers are also afraid of law suits, they might hurt an unruly student, but if they call a cop, and the cop hurts someone, it’s harder to sue him. Or her.
other reasons are there?
Schools are treating the kids in poor schools like criminals, they aren't training them to compete with the kids in rech neighborhoods who are going to be lawyers and CEOs. They are training them to either think of themselves as criminals or perfect workers. Kids are being raised to accept a police state. This isn't about kids really, this is about the future of America, and it looks like we are either going to go into complete collapse and be taken over by China, or we will be crushed by the government.
Calling cops on kids is just all a bad idea, if you get rid of the cops and train the teachers to deal with kids, it will get better, until then good luck, and try to get home schooled.
What I Will Say to a Saying
By Gabby Fringette
The old man wants me to be wiser, so he made me study some old sayings. And these are the saying, and what I have to say about them.
A fish always rots from the head down
So always cut the head off of the fish.
A fool and his money are soon parted
Where can I find this fool?
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing
Then I’m deadly.
All things come to those who wait
So if I sit here long enough I’ll get a net book?
Ask a silly question and you'll get a silly answer
What kind of a silly saying is that?
Cheats never prosper
Even I’ve heard of the 1%.
Crime doesn't pay
But we have so many millionaires and billionaires.
God helps those who help themselves
Don’t mind if I do.
He who can does, he who cannot, teaches
So that is what’s wrong with our schools
Honesty is the best policy
But there are so many lawyers
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride
If wishes were horses, we’d all be trampled.
Let bygones be bygones
What the heck is a ‘bygone’?
Money is the root of all evil
And all evil root for money.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away
Recipes II: Spring Returns
By Gabby Fringette
Free at last from the clutches of winter! (Not that is was really that bad.)
It is spring! And what is best in spring? Food. And I have just the recipe.
It is Pasta Primavera (Spring Pasta!).
The recipe goes like this:
1. Penne noodles
2. Bell peppers (frozen or fresh, it doesn’t really matter)
3. Spring onions
4. Lots of parmesan
6. Blue cheese
7. Olive oil
11. Dried tomatoes
12. Garlic! Don’t forget garlic, we put that in everything (except ice cream sundaes).
What to do:
Boil penne, when it is to a firmness of your liking, drain it, and while that is cooking, chop mushrooms, peppers, onions and garlic. Place in a pan on medium-low heat, pour olive oil in generously, dump in mushrooms and garlic, and when they are smelling wonderful, add in the peppers and the spring onions. Saute them for another few minutes, or until you think they are done, put the pasta in a large bowl, and pour in the mushrooms, garlic, peppers, and spring onions, chop tomatoes, and put them in, dump in the parmesan (grated) and the blue cheese (crumbled) finely chop the basil and the olives, and put them in, and the sun dried tomatoes. Mix, and it is done.
A spring burst of flavors!
Speaking of ice cream sundaes, are you in the mood for something sweet? (And I am not guaranteeing that this is low fat or anything, that is what makes it so good) this is what you need:
1. ice cream (any kind, but, not sherbet)
2. chocolate (unless you can’t eat it)
4. maraschino cherries
5. peanut butter (unless you can’t eat it)
7. butter (I promised this wouldn’t be healthy)
Here is what to do: Melt chocolate in sauce pan, with butter, cut banana, pour the chocolate sauce on the ice cream, (hurry, it goes solid quick) top with marsh mallows, maraschino cherries, peanut butter, banana, enjoy!
No photo because Mom vetoed the buttery chocolate sauce, marshmallows, and maraschino cherries. If Mom doesn’t approve, it must be good! Off to enjoy my plate of peanut butter and bananas (mope, mope).
Don’t Eat the Soylent Pink
By Gabby Fringette
But what is ‘soylent pink’? It is also called pink slime, what is pink slime? The government bought 7 million pounds of ‘pink slime’ to feed school children. It is connective tissue, and cartilage and pretty much any thing that can be scraped off the bone after any thing we call “meat” has already been carved off. Rejected by McDonald’s and several other fast food chains. And, what makes it pink?
Ammonia. The ammonia is very unstable, and can easily turn into an ingredient of homemade bombs and fertilizer, but fortunately, there haven’t been any reports of ‘explosive diarrhea.’ Now that phrase has real meaning. And why do they put ammonia in it? To kill the E coli and salmonella, and unfortunately, it still doesn’t work too well.
And, guess what, parents started to question when they found out that the government was going to feed their kids E coli ridden, potentially explosive cartilage.
But, the factories that make it got the pink slime approved by the USDA. The company that makes pink slime has made millions off it in the last ten years. That may be why they are defending it. BPI spokesman Rich Jochum said “Including LFTB (Lean Finely Textured Beef) in the national school lunch program's beef products accomplishes three important goals on behalf of 32 million kids. It 1) improves the nutritional profile, 2) increases the safety of the products and 3) meets the budget parameters that allow the school lunch program to feed kids nationwide every day.”
Kit Foshee used to be director of food safety for BPI, and, even the former employees are admitting that the pink slime is toxic. Kit maintains that the company's CEO routinely told fast-food companies that the inclusion of treated beef would help kill pathogens when mixed with other ground beef. Foshee said "BPI is marketing themselves as a pinnacle of safety. It's all lies. It's all marketing."
That is what Pink slime is, and what others think of it, but what do I think, and why? Well, personally, I wouldn’t feed it to my dog, it’s a bad idea, for all of the reasons at the beginning of this article. The best thing we can do now is to avoid it all we can. If you have kids in public school, have them bring lunch from home, and if you know some one with kids in public school, send this to them.
By Gabby Fringette
You all know how to sled and make snow balls, and probably a bunch of other thing to do in the snow too. And, of course you know some things not to do in the snow. In this Gabby, Stique Phigure (that’s French you know) discovers many things not to do in the winter.
1. It looks clear out, but don’t go sun bathing.
2. Why do you think this week’s Gabby is called ‘Ice rash’? Don’t ice skate in swimming trunks.
This next part is all about falling down.
First we need to know the basics of good falling-down ice. There is the hard, smooth slick ice, the base. Then we have the ‘fluffy’ which is slick, fluffy snow, and finally, we have the trap door, a very thin layer of crusty snow.
This combination of base, fluffy, and trap door is often so slick, the dog falls down.
Let alone humans.
There are many ways to land, and, don’t be like Stique Phigure, land on your hands, or your butt, your head doesn’t have any padding.
Your hands are meant for getting a little bashed up.
And of course, your butt, as mentioned earlier, has very good padding, if your pants stay on.
I am afraid this concludes this Gabby, and, again, don’t ice skate in swim gear!
Need. Coffee. Now.
By Gabby Fringette
Have you heard the dumb story that coffee stunts your growth? It is just made up by adults to keep kids from drinking coffee. As it turns out, according to many sources, coffee is good for you. It helps prevent many cancers, such as breast cancer, and skin cancer, and heart attacks, strokes and heart disease, Alzheimer’s, dementia, Parkinson’s disease, gout, and hypertension.
So I think I should start drinking it now, it doesn’t make me hyper. Really, I’m not hyper. I just seem hyper compared to non-Gabby Fringette people.
Here is a list of reasons I should have coffee:
1. It prevents many diseases.
2. Studies show that people who drink coffee are happier.
3. It tastes so good, and it is a symbol of my maturity.
4. And, according to studies, if you drink 7 cups of coffee a day it will cut your risk of getting type 2 diabetes in half. MOMMMMMM! I need seven cups of coffee a day!!!!!! (I’m not hyper now.)
5. It increases test scores if you drink it before you take a test.
Reasons my parents stubbornly think I should not drink coffee:
1. Apparently, it’s a community service to keep people like me off of coffee. According to Mom, I’m normally like the squirrel in the movie Hoodwinked. That is an insult to me, I’m normally like the squirrel when he is on coffee. (See, I’m not hyper.)
2. As it turns out, it has some down sides, like, it changes sleep patterns. And, most seriously, it has 19 carcinogens in it, though it’s not likely that they will take hold of your cells.
It is however agreed that the health benefits outweigh the risks. Whether or not Mom will let me drink coffee though, is a different matter.
By Gabby Fringette
Would you give a kid alcohol? No. Would you give a kid a cigarette? Oh course not! But would you give a kid some candy, or perhaps a soda? Oh yeah! Good, keep thinking like that; some freaks are thinking that it would be a good idea to make sugar like alcohol, or tobacco, no one under 21 can get it. Anyone who thinks like that should have to smell my shoe.
OK, it’s mostly bad for you, OK all bad for you, but there is sugar in fruit, and, in SPINACH! So, how are they going to get the sugar out of those? Are they going to make us eat lightly toasted air until we are old enough to legally buy it? I may have to do some underground fruit trafficking.
Here is a list of every day products containing sugar:
1. corn chips
3. jam (duh)
4. ramen noodle soup
5. almost all cereal
6. maraschino cherries
7. pickled ginger
8. all canned fruit
9. peanut butter
10. canned beans
11. canned tomatoes
14. worchestershire sauce
15. all chocolate.
And we have a fairly healthy kitchen.
Things with natural sugar:
1. all fruit
2. fruit juice, yes, even 100 %
3. corn, potatoes, etc, etc.
I have read many articles on the matter; some are for regulating sugar, and others against. I am against.
So why is sugar so dangerous? Well, it is associated with cancer, diabetes, and heart disease. I counter act it with coffee, and garlic, which studies show prevent cancer and heart disease.
Then again, there are studies that say sugar is not the killer, carbs are. When you digest it without fiber, you get too much at once and it overwhelms your body’s systems.
And, white flour has the same glycemic index as sugar, so sugar’s not the only big-bad.
They should focus on high fructose corn syrup, it’s the worst part of sugar, multiplied. And, why is there so much in everything? It’s cheap to make, and sold cheaply. We have to work hard to find jams, cereals and other processed foods with no high fructose corn syrup, it is added to many foods, like catsup, because it is so cheap.
Here is a fun fact: the sugar consumption worldwide has tripled in the last fifty years.
Fruit is still good for you, it has fibers that make sure your stomach breaks down the sugar more slowly.
Here are a few foods I would miss:
1. delicious almond toffee chocolate, oh, it melts in your mouth
2. hard candy
3. the oh-so-good cherry preserves, on my toasted-to-perfection crispy toast with melted butter
4. wonderful corn chips with spicy salsa
5. not spinach.
I can’t imagine life without sugar, I know it’s bad for me, but it’s sooo good. Maybe, for now, they should just try to keep high fructose corn syrup away from kids.
So, I think it’s OK to eat sugar, just try to keep the level down, check the ingredients, and eat fruit.
Icky, Smoochy, Valentines Day
By Gabby Fringette.
From a kid-girl’s prospective, Valentines Day is just an excuse for adults to eat candy and willingly drink each others’ spit.
And boys, sometimes, they CAN be nice.
But, the last time I checked, they were walking around like zombies, with plastic bags on their feet, I guess that’s how they acted before they came here from mars.
Boys think of themselves as macho, normal totally awesome HUNKS (Handsome, Unintelligent, Normal Kind of, Superstars) who girls go wild for. Clearly they never look in the mirror.
Girls are the normal ones. But then they hit 8th grade and for some reason, start going all gooey over boys. Well, some of them. Brothers and their friends, friends’ brothers, and their friends are still ranking as mosquitoes. But for some reason boys think of us as Barbie wielding, pony obsessed, wimps. In truth, not all of us play with dolls, and some of us prefer kitty cats, and we can be very mean and kick our brothers’ butts.
So, kids have common sense about Valentine’s Day, it’s just and excuse for candy, but, for whatever reason, adults make a big deal about it.
But, also from a kids prospective, these are three good things about Valentines Day.
1. All the CANDY!
2. (At least for me) that pink and red for once drives out the boy colors.
3. Mom and Dad are busy, so they won’t notice if I borrow the car. Probably.
Fidgeting. It’s good for you. And sitting still can kill you.
By Gabby Fidgette
Do you have trouble sitting still? Are you always tapping your fingers, or re-adjusting your position?
It’s called fidgeting, and it is NEAT. No, really, that is the acronym: Non Exercise Activity Thermogenesis. It means you are burning fat and calories without specifically exercising. As you can see, it really is NEAT! This was discovered at Mayo University. Before they discovered this, if you were caught fidgeting, you were put on Prozac. One of civilization’s attempts to normalize humans.
As it turns out, fidgeting helps control weight. You’re not so obsessive-compulsive.
It is not natural for kids not to fidget. In fact, next to corn syrup, sitting may be a cause of the obesity in children today.
And, you know, sitting is the new smoking; standing is better for you; perhaps laying is better. Even the ancients knew that. The Greeks and Romans laid down as much as they could. Here are a few things you can do to counter act the sitting.
1. Put trash can on other side of room, then to throw something away, you will have to walk to the other side of the room.
2. Stand up when talking on the phone.
3. Stretch at lunchtime, and, if possible, eat standing up.
4. Exercise before bed, and in the morning.
And, you should walk as much as you can, if you have a job in a large building, take the stairs, don’t go for the elevator (even though it is fun).
Or, scratch yourself, twiddle your thumbs, bounce around in your seat, drum your hands, tap your feet, and just fidget.
A gillion ways to get rid of a tooth.
By Gabby Fringette
Have you ever had a loose tooth that took forever to fall out? Well, my brother, represented here by Stick Figure, has thought of gillions of ways to get rid of loose teeth. Maybe more than should have come out, but, at least you get 50 cents for each one.
1. Take car, tie string to tooth, and to car bumper, have driver go.
2. Take wrecking ball, tie it to tooth, have wrecking ball go!
3. And then, there is the door knob trick…
Stick Figure got hit in the face with a wrecking ball, crushed by a door, his tooth came out, but it was the wrong one. Now, more Tooth disasters.
4.Tie small rocket to tooth, light tooth-I mean rocket.
5.Tie cable, (the wire, not TV) to tooth, then to bumper of car. Have driver go.
6.Bite into apple, tie apple to car, have driver go.
7.Bite into apple, and have wrecking ball smash you in face.
8.Tie cable to tooth, tie other end to post, put fire near face, and let your instincts do the rest.
9.Tie tooth to toe, make sure it is tight, have a good friend place glass with angry hornet on face.
Do you remember when you were 12-14, and you began to discover not only the good things about being a teen, but the zits as well? Well, it might not seem like such a big deal now, just a lump full of puss and dirt, hormones, and bacteria. But you might have experienced it yourself, like, on your 12th birthday, a huge zit on your chin. It seemed to grow in overnight, as if your hormones, puss, and dirt were waiting until the first second of your birthday. “Oh, it’s midnight, rise and puss every one!” Boy I know what that feels like. Exactly what it feels like.
There are several stages to zits.
1. The erupting. The zit pokes up, and it has the white puss-ball imbedded in it.
2. The angry zit. It starts to get red and swell up, and the white part looks like it is going to pop out.
3. The flaking. The zit (who by this time you have named Bumphry) starts to flake skin and bits of dried puss off, and it itches. Oh, the itching.
4. The retreating. Bumphry the zit starts to flatten, as the puss has mostly come out, he is barely noticeable with reddish-skin coloring, and barely a bump, anymore. Unless, of course, you picked at him. If you picked at him, the scar that is Bumphry will stay with you the rest of your life. Unless you get very expensive cosmetic surgery. By the way, eating chocolate does not give you zits.
The next topic is ingrown hairs. An ingrown hair is like a tiny zit, but without all the stages, and with a hair. Ingrown hairs have several places they like to grow, and, where you have one, more follow.
The following are places they like to grow:
1. The knee. Usually, you get an entire city of them, in this case, Knee York City.
2. The arm. Sleeves, do they hide or make worse?
3. And, on the cheeks. The other cheeks, or perhaps I shouldn’t have mentioned that; most people don’t see those.
Warning: do not pick at ingrown hairs, or they will turn into staph infections.
Next, of course, is staph infection (formerly ingrown hairs), a disgusting thing, blotchy, purple-reddish to red, lumpy, sometimes occurring on the nose, or, the leg and stomach area, and, on the arms. I have heard raw garlic is good for killing external staff, and, if necessary, you can walk around with raw garlic sticking from your nostrils, if you have staph there. Or, maybe not. (I am not speaking from personal experience!) Staph can take a long time to clear up. Sometimes it becomes more serious and medical help is called for. Sometimes you get staph from a hospital, called Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA), which can kill you, as all staph can. Staphylococcus can also cause food poisoning, when food is improperly stored. And staff is on all hard, dry surfaces, and any skin blemish can turn to staff.
There are many other gross skin ailments, some are caused by worms, and others like eczema, we don’t know what causes them, others are caused by advanced age, like the many skin features on my dad.
So, remember, wash well. But, there is little you can do about zits, make up only covers it, Bumphry will still be there.
The summer of 1924 was dry. The grass never got very tall, and it was as dry as tissue paper, and would turn to powder in your hands. The air was so hot and dry; you got a bloody nose just from breathing the dry air for too long. Water evaporated quickly, so all that was left in ponds was a muddy, brown sludge.
But why was it like this? Because they had a dry winter, little snow in the normally more snowy places, like now, and little rain.
A normal, small forest fire is sort of good; it does little damage, clears away the dead brush and makes way for the new trees, clearing ground for grass and shrubs, which feed plant eaters, which in turn feed the meat eaters.
But, in 1924, the mountain weather dynamics of the Sierras created a downslope wind on the east slope that fueled huge devastating fires, incinerating everything in their path. The wind created an awful firestorm, and spread incredibly fast.
This is historically known as “Washoe Zephyrs.” These winds blast over the Sierra Nevada and through many other valleys. By the way, ‘Zephyr’ is the west wind, from ancient Greek mythology.
This ravaged the Sierra Nevadas, destroying farms, houses, and killing many hundreds of livestock. A woman named Daisy Parker was a lookout for Sardine Peak, she and her two daughters saw lots of smoke and fire, but survived.
And now here is where my family relations come in. My great grandfather was doing some logging work near Westwood, and was called into duty for fire fighting. And, up here at the Prospect headquarters, there are still a few huge trees which survived the 1924 fire. Sattley was almost wiped out, and many surrounding farms were burnt to the ground. And, 400 sheep were killed; the poor things couldn’t out run the fire. And, some of the fire was filmed, for a Hollywood movie staring Tom Mix.
This is the driest December in 105 years, what if we don’t have any more rain or snow until the end of summer, will we have a catastrophe like the summer of 1924. We have the same problem as 1924, too much under growth, and a dry winter. Or will we be six feet deep in snow in the middle of March? I’m hoping for the snow.