The Brown-Whitman Debatcle
The Fringe fast forwards through the debate.
The unbounded stinkfest that is this year’s gubernatorial race did not fail to disappoint in the first debate between the red-faced, sweating Jerry “Don’t Call Me Moonbeam” Brown and the “Greedy Blonde” Meg Whitman.
Whitman has Brown by a good 30 pounds, and is 20 years younger, but Brown is an experienced question dodger and gave Whitman a run for her money. The two danced around the ring for over an hour, barely making contact, exchanging a few jabs but mostly punching air.
To be honest, I didn’t watch or listen to the debate live, I waited and downloaded it so I could speed through it. It was not very interesting, and less of a debate than a chance for each to repeat their spiel. When it was over, I couldn’t believe I wasted the gigs to download it. I could have been internet gambling.
Here’s the breakdown:
Meg: Jerry, you’re a shill for the those lazy, good for nothing civil servants, who want to make a living wage and collect a retirement they can live on even though they are often neither blonde nor rich. “like putting Count Dracula in charge of the blood bank.”
Jerry: Hey, that’s how I’m going to retire. The people who work for us, teachers, hospital workers, police, firemen, should be rewarded, I respect them very much… I vetoed state pay raises twice, the teachers union hasn’t always supported me politically. Unions have their problems, but what about corporations? They rip us off, I know because I’ve been taking them to court as the attorney general.
Meg: I want to create jobs by giving money to millionaires. I want to strip regulations from corporations. You are supported by unions and special interest groups. (Meg is a billionaire, the 4th richest woman in California, and has spent record amounts on her campaign).
Jerry: You want to take money from schools to give to your pals, and you’ve got a sizeable unidentified contributor in the Chamber of Commerce; your special interest group is the wealthy. Meg wants to reduce public retirement, except for the powerful police and firefighter’s union, who support her.
Jerry: I’m in favor of a peripheral canal and proposed it but the Northern voters turned it down. When you benefit you have to pay, not the general taxpayer, but levy and wildlife preservation. (doesn’t say who you have to pay, probably not us).
Meg: turning our backs on water is turning our back on jobs, and we need the water bond which I support. I support conserving water in the north to send south, Sacramento (which Meg imagines is where Northern California gets its water) just got water meters! “You can not go to Sacramento and boil the ocean.” (Meg loses serious points for geographic knowledge).
All in all, it was hardly a blood bath, and highlighted what we already knew: we have to choose between an aging politician (Jerry is 72 and would be 80 if he served two terms) and a billionaire who knows nothing at all about the lives we live.
Who won: Nobody. Neither candidate said anything astounding. Brown had a good defense, partially because he actually does have political experience and could evidence his claims in history, but Whitman came off sounding like a better administrator.
If I had to vote today: I’d hold my nose and vote for Brown, because he actually knew the issues. Whitman is long on “the plan” but short on actual knowledge. Sacramento is not eBay.
Further, Whitman has scarcely voted in the last 30 years. She knows nothing about politics and believes she should be governor because she’s rich and blonde. Her solutions are boilerplate, and she knows nothing at all about Northern California.
Finally, she doesn’t support Prop 23 but would suspend AB 32 until “jobs returned” showing a kind of short sightedness only corporate capitalists are capable of.
Candidly, I continue to believe this is some kind of conspiracy to make Arnold Schwarzenegger seem like the best governor in California history. Though Whitman seems to be slightly ahead, I’m calling the election for Brown, unless something happens in October. There are two more debates; I doubt they will be much different.
There was a tiny “demonstration” outside the debate in which Whitman and Brown supporters viciously bumped and jostled each other for a minute, mirroring the bloodbath that was taking place inside.
Someone please wake me when this is over.
In four years I'm going to look like
a freakin' genius!